dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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