grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
