Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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