I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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