id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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