i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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