They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im holly from the hills drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize