It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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