Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if only i could text you this smell
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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