If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
