I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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