i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
