She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
