Jerry, you need to find god
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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