i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
