he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
