There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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