Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
