I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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