I'm eating all of the evidence.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize