I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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