very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
