STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
