we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
