Sponge bath it is.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
