a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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