every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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