I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
