the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish you could order shots online.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
