If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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