I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
