I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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