I am in a vortex of obligation.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
