just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
