Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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