i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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