yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
