Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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