You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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