How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I will be naked everywhere
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
