ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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