Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
