Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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