It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
