i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
