Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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