Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
