haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
