Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
