so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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