Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
