Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
