Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I died a long time ago.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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