i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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