y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
