i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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