The best revenge is premature balding
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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