We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
