ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
