When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
