Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
