It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Found your dick twin last night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize