I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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