i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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