I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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