just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
