I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
