Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
