so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
