You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
