Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
