There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
