In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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